dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
