She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
