i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
