whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
