hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
