dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
