Tell her she can't have a vagina
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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