I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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