Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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