I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
