i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Randomize
