No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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