Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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