Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
