You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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