Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
