Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
