The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
