ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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