eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize