wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
