sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
