i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
