...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
