I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
