moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
