i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My penis needs a shock collar
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
