How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
