So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
