I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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