i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize