walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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