I can text with my tongue
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
