Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
false alarm, still single
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
