he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
