guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
where are my eyebrows?
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