I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
