fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
