He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
