so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
