After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
