if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He kissed a someone with a penis
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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