And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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