Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
