everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
