When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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