My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
