Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
