we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
