Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
