We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
