the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
