Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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