i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
