when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
