I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize