So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
