So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
